Source Credit: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
By Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D. on September 5, 2013 – 11:56am
It really should not have taken academic psychology so long to determine the key factors to happiness, especially because the results weren’t that surprising.* Money, beauty, and success are not quintessential, while compassionate giving of our money, appreciation of our actual looks, and the pursuit of personally meaningful goals are. Waiting for our parents to love us finally perpetuates feelings of being a victim while letting go of the past, forgiveness and gratitude propagate joy in the present. This is old news for psych-savvy people such as you and me, right?
But here is another piece of the puzzle, based on the findings of the truly long longitudinal and still on-going Harvard Grant Study that began in 1939. The study followed 268 male students for 78 years. The…
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Here are ten choices that ultimately lead to this phrase of regret, and how to elude them:
- Wearing a mask to impress others. – If the face you always show the world is a mask, someday there will be nothing beneath it. Because when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you really are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be perfect to impress and inspire people. Let them be impressed and inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
- Letting someone else create your dreams for you. – The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are; the second greatest is being happy with what you find. A big part of this…
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Death will not part us again, nearer to heaven than ten thousand ancestors who dream of me… ~ Rickie Lee Jones
The ancestors possess this in-between quality of the flown soul and the hovering presence ~ The Book of Symbols
Until a short time ago if you googled my name, without initials, credentials or qualifiers you would find only text and images of my most infamous and tragic relative. My name would summon a black and white photograph of a lovely blonde woman, posed formally, in a light-colored taffeta gown, with stiff bows and many strands of pearls. To me, she resembled my father, and how beautiful he might have been in drag. I never knew her, and although she lived in a perpetual vegetative state since my early adolescence – since before the internet existed – her life, her story, preempted my digital footprint until I reached the half…
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Self-awareness may be a challenge but worth the confidence you deserve and earn.
Learning to become a counselor involves a tremendous amount of reading, writing, and test taking. It also includes much more self-reflection than I expected. Once you have acquired the knowledge through the academic courses, it is time to put those counseling skills to use.
In my educational program there are several classes designed to teach counseling skills and actually put them into practice. In these courses the practice “clients” are students who are also in the counseling program but further along. This semester I have had the opportunity to play the part of a client for one of these classes and it has been an interesting experience.
The first thing I noticed about being a client rather than the counselor was my overwhelming desire to assist the student counselor. I recall being in that very class and meeting my first “client.” I was nervous and excited and wanted to make…
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